I know I kept denying that I like keatkee, I don't need you to lecture me. LEROY LIM YONG SHUN. So what if I posted that poem? It's MY blog so I have the freedom to post WHATEVER I want.I also have the FREEDOM to post whatever song I like. If you don't like the song, you can just switch off the volume and not say that the song is irritating ok! I find the song NICE and MEANINGFUl ok!

About keatkee, I only wanted rumours to stop as they are very irritating. I know all of you kept saying that I don't like him and wanted an answer right? I can say that all of you are very lame and irritaing. So what if I like keatkee, is it your business? No it's not. So what if he don't like me? As if I cared about it. He may change his mind aone day but I know that it is impossible. Have you ever heard this phrase"miracles could happen"? Miracles COULD happen. For example a paralysed person who has been bed-ridden for 2 years, maybe of his will and determination, he too one day could standand walk. God gave miracles. God is very fair. If you believe you can do it, it will surely happen. So don't give up. That is the type of thinking i treat keatkee now. Sheer determination could lead to miracles. So stop pestering me about me loving keatkee or keatkee loving me. It is my personal things. I have privacy. I no need you to help me in what MATCHMAKING. Even if we got the same marks, it is God's choice. We can't even decide what kind of marks we want. So for goodness sake, mind your business and don't care about me. Just treat me as invisible or pretend I was never included in your memory. I also no need YOU to call Mekko and Yingying to arrange what Flag Raising together ok!? If really God wants the both of us to be together, no need you to arrange and God will arrange everything ready for the both of us. Obstacles for us to overcome. We may fail or we may pass, we may get together in the end or only become good friends, this is all God's will. Our path has already been designated, we can't change it. I have think it already. I am only 12 years old. A 12 year old girl's mind should concentrate on studies and preparation for PSLE. Relationships should wait till the both of us are mature. Maybe at the age of 21 years old.

I knew I've hurt many people this year just because of TAN KEATKEE. I know Chin and Leroy are very KIND in trying to matchmake the both of us. Even Mrs Ratna have been trying to help the both of us get together. But I hope please all of you for goodness sake stop it. I am pissed off by it already.I have got hurt too. In friendship. I have almost lost 2 good friends because of keatkee. I don't really wish it would really happen.

Why must he be in the same class as me? Why must he leave a deep cut in my memories and heart? Why must he exist in this world? Or maybe I should be the one who should not exist. Why? Can anyone tell me why?...

Everyone has been disliking me. I know. Because all of you think you don't hold a place in my heart and I cared too much about the boys and the boys are much more precious than all of you. I know I cared more about the boys. The reason is because I can talk more to boys. I think I can pour all my feelings on a boy because they are less emotional and they are a very good listener. Boys can listen to me talk for hours but girls will think I am crazy and irritating. You may think I am wrong but to me this is a true fact. The truth is because I don't have fatherly love for long. I only had it for 3 years. I have a sense of loss because all of you have a father to talk and share your feelings with but I don't have. That's the reason why I have always been talking to boys. I know you may think this is a lame excuse but to me, this is the REAL reason why I've been always talking to boys.

Everyone also thinks I am not chio, not cute, not FEMINE enough, not GENTLE enough like HER. I agree she is those gentle type, but pls don't act chio. You are those gentle type so go be those gentle type and not those chio type. Chio types are like fyon and jolene. Your hairstyle really doesn't suits you. Sorry and really sorry to say that. Plus you tie two short ponytails, eveyone has been calling you strawberry angel. Ya la ya la, everyone nows likes you. I looks so akward and I am so jealous. I looks like a BEAST standing next to a ANGEL. I am fierce, not clever, no pretty. I know, but all of you no need to keep praising her want right? I have pride too ok. I will be jealous want ok! All of you don't even care about me. I will be sad ok.

By the way, you don't need to keep looking at me in class ok. It will make me think that you like me. And your new hairstyle looks so funny. You and kenghua. It makes me want to laugh.

You suddenly told me you like me again. I cannot take the shock. I knew I had once LIKED you for a month. You told me now suddenly that you are fond of me. For a while I cannot take the shock. I mean what am I so good about? They are so many people in our class who is more good looking, CHIO and clever. Sorry but I choose to reject you. I know I will hurt you once more if I accept you. I'm sorry...

I have written very long. I want to cry. Nobody ever concerns about me. Today we had our PSLE prelim english. It was tough. The tougher the better, it trains us. I have written very long, I hope you get the message I am trying to convey to all of you. Sorry for letting you read so much. Sorry to Mei,Fyon,Chin and Leroy. Very sorry to Keatkee and Kenghua and "HER" for insulting the three of you. You should know who I am reffering to. Sorry for letting all of you read my feelings. A mixture of jealousy,hatred and love. SORRY and very SORRY to all of you>3...